My husband spends approximately 40% of his free time trying to convince me to go camping. He talks about how fun and fabulous it would be. He makes elaborate plans, buys camping gear, and
brainwashes talks to our boys about it, too.
The problem is, there are a few reasons why I struggle with the idea of going on a real camping trip:
- I've only been camping once before, and little green worms fell from the trees. I. am. serious.
- I'm a giant wuss.
- Tents offer no real protection from scary things like bears that want to eat me for dinner.
- I like plumbing, y'all. Showers and toilets are not optional
- Spiders are not okay in my world.
- I've watched too many Man vs. Wild episodes that involved eating horrible, horrible things when trapped in the wilderness.
- And I would undoubtedly get trapped somewhere, in the wilderness.
- Would you want to be trapped in the wilderness with this??
- Did I already mention bears and wussiness? Because both of those apply.
Unfortunately, I don't know if I'm going to be able to avoid it this year -- I've given Mike my list of
demands suggestions and what kind of mother would I be if I got in the way of good, old fashioned bear-snacking family fun?
Are any of you campers? Do you have any tips for me? Does dry shampoo really work? What can you do about falling worms?
Can't we just keep camping in the backyard and call it good??
I guess a girl can always dream.